Smashing Pumpkins: Shiny and Oh So Bright Tour

Artist: Smashing Pumpkins
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, TX
Date: July 17, 2018

“You know I’m not dead…”

My memories with Smashing Pumpkins go way back into my adolescence. I remember riding in the car with my mom listening to all variations of the grunge music movement. I recall MTV airing the artful, yet sometimes misunderstood music videos. Today, when I listen to those heavy riffs, perfectly timed drums, funky bass, and Corgan’s poetic lyrics, I am transported back in time. To be able to relive certain moments and experience past feelings is a blessing of nostalgia.

In 2010, when I had a Twitter account, I was following Billy Corgan. He tweeted that he and the rest of the band were stopping by the Texas Prison Museum in Huntsville, TX. The building is located right off Interstate 45, which leads into Houston. Luckily, I was attending Sam Houston State University at the time, and immediately encouraged my roommates to go with me to meet the legendary Smashing Pumpkins.

Corgan and Co. at Warehouse Live in Sep. 2010

I had seen SP a few weeks before that encounter at Warehouse Live in downtown Houston. I stood in line for nearly an hour before doors opened, then made my way to the front. In the left picture, Corgan seems to be staring right at me. I’m not sure if his gaze was one of annoyance (for being on my phone) or something else. Nonetheless, when I met him in person, I was a bit starstruck and wondered if he remembered a dark-haired 18-year-old in front of the stage of their last Houston show.

When my roommates and I arrived at the museum, I immediately sensed Corgan’s introverted tendencies. Or, perhaps, he was feeling a bit down from the museum tour. Afterall, Huntsville has the most active execution chamber unit in the U.S. and the museum itself has a capital punishment exhibit. Behind the smiles of boozed up college students, lies a bleak history of the college town.

But enough about Huntsville. Corgan stood tall, wrapped in a scarf covering a grey hoodie, disarming his fans with a subtle smile. I nervously approached him and asked for his autograph. “All I had time to grab was my math homework,” I naively uttered. To this day, that piece of paper sits in a shadow box among numerous ticket stubs. “To Katie – Billy Corgan x,” it reads. I don’t remember what we conversed about, or if I spoke anything beyond my request for his signature. What I do remember is that Corgan was one of the nicest people I have ever met. He is so articulate, respectful, humble, and gentle. These qualities made me into an even more devoted fan. In fact, I even wrote a literary criticism essay for an English class where I compared John Keats’ poetry to SP’s lyrics. I received an A and maintain it is the best paper I’ve ever written. Though many people claim that Corgan appears a bit standoffish, I have always defended him, stating that his introversion is more likely responsible for creating such a demeanor.

Dec. 2010 – Corgan and I outside of the Texas Prison Museum in Huntsville.

Since all that time ago, I have attended every SP show in Houston. Each time, the venue is bigger, the stage more theatric, and the setlist more incredible. I was adamant about attending this tour because the original lineup (minus D’arcy Wretzky) would be performing. In previous times, it was only Corgan (Chamberlin joined him in 2015). I saw James Iha perform with A Perfect Circle last year, and loved the idea of seeing him perform again with SP.

Despite sitting in the 400s bowl of the Toyota Center, the elevated seats allowed a perfect view of the stage with minimal disturbance from surrounding crowd members. You know you’re getting old when you prefer to have a seat than stand for hours on end. Nonetheless, at about 8:15 pm, the lights dissipated, and a screen depicting space appeared. A video began playing, which showed snippets and memories of SP’s earlier days. For example, the ice cream truck from the “1979” video floated across the screen, while other celestial beings from the Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness album cover followed. Soon after, the long, red curtains of the stage began to part, only to show an empty stage. Alright, what’s Corgan got up his sleeve this time? I thought to myself. Then, the solo, towering Corgan appeared with an acoustic guitar. As he struck the initial chords for “Disarm” the screen above began showing pictures and videos of Corgan from his childhood, with inscriptions like “broken home,” “666,” “weapons in home,” and “blank.” Corgan’s steady and emotional vocal ability, mixed with his creative power made this opening extremely intimate, personal, and touching. I found myself reflecting on my own childhood and was able to relate to the song’s painful lyrics more so than I had before.

Applause proceeded and increased as Chamberlin, Iha, and other band members (Schroeder and Bates) walked out onto the stage to accompany Corgan. To lighten the mood, SP took its audience back in time and began playing “Rocket” from the debut album Gish. The track’s heaviness mixed with its psychedelic riffs and melodies is sure to energize the crowd and appease fans of SP’s beginnings. Not only that, the title itself fits right into Houston aka Space City.

After a few more singles from Gish, Corgan had seemingly changed outfits into a metallic hooded cape. Familiar acoustic chords began strumming, but I finally recognized the track as Corgan sang, “Ground Control to Major Tom…” My mouth dropped, as I had never expected SP to cover anything besides “Landslide.” Corgan climbed his way upon a mountain of stairs, leading to the front of the screen which depicted a view from space, which inevitably made it seem as though he were actually standing on an unfamiliar planet looking out into the void. The visuals, showmanship, and music made this performance unforgettable.

Later in the set, SP of course performed “Landslide,” but just a few songs later Corgan began playing “Stairway to Heaven” on a grand piano. Again, my mouth dropped. As the song progressed to its heavier segment, a “ZERO” avatar altar was carried among the crowd. This interaction complemented the cinema portraying a weeping woman attempting to worship (or perhaps something else) said avatar. As part of the two track encore, SP also performed a cover of “Baby Mine” by Betty Noyes. Their rendition certainly pulled the heartstrings of parents, something Corgan can now empathize with.

I was pleased to have heard these covers, as I will never be able to experience them by the original artists. For SP to perform with such grace and respect for the songs made the experience all the more special.

Zero altar being carried through the crowd during “Stairway to Heaven”

“We must never be apart…”

Not only were the sounds of the Smashing Pumpkins pleasing, but the aesthetics were unlike anything I had ever seen at an SP show. Geometric patterns, psychedelic colors, deco illustrations, and SP memorabilia helped make the show into an incredible theatrical production. SP has always had beautiful stage setup, but the spaciousness of the Toyota Center definitely granted the band the freedom and ability to expand on their visual creativity. My favorite images were those that accompanied “Ava Adore.” They displayed magic, skeletons, death, love, passion, early 20th century women, flowers, and celestial beings. I loved how each image combined such elements, showing how paradoxically dark love can be.

“The street heats the urgency of sound / As you see there’s no one around.”

Out of the four times I’ve seen SP perform, this show topped them all. Their sets have improved each time, whilst pleasing fans old and new, and even those with a deep appreciation for the rarities and underrated albums (looking at you, Machina I). Yet, there is an inevitable sense of nostalgia associated with SP’s music. As I mentioned at the beginning of this entry, I sometimes feel like I’m able to go back in time when I listen to their songs. In fact, many of the songs mention the idea of time, whether it be past, present, or future. Maybe, Corgan wants to ultimately remind us that we can’t change time. However, we can recover from our past demons, make our own choices in the present, but we cannot try to control the future. Ultimately, we can appreciate and learn from the past, but we can’t change it. All we have is right now. “Can’t wait for tomorrow / I might not have that long.” Mindfulness is just one lesson I was able to retain from the show. And to leave the venue with a mind and heart fulfilled with depth and meaning is something I am grateful for. Because of this special experience, I remain a lifelong fan and will defend their music until the very end.

See you next time.

Setlist:

1. Disarm
2. Rocket
3. Siva
4. Rhinoceros
5. Space Oddity (David Bowie cover)
6. Drown
7. Zero
8. The Everlasting Gaze
9. Stand Inside Your Love
10. Thirty-three
11. Eye
12. Soma
13. Blew Away
14. For Martha
15. To Sheila
16. Mayonaise
17. Porcelina of the Vast Oceans
18. Landslide (Fleetwood Mac cover)
19. Tonight, Tonight,
20. Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin cover)
21. Cherub Rock
22. 1979
23. Ava Adore
24. Try, Try, Try
25. The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning
26. Hummer
27. Today
28. Bullet With Butterfly Wings
29. Muzzle

Encore:

1. Solara
2. Baby Mine (Betty Noyes cover)

Favorites:
-“Eye”
-“Solara”
-“Space Oddity”
-“Stairway to Heaven”
-“Disarm”
-“Ava Adore”

Houston Open Air 2017

What an incredible lineup! I have seen Marilyn Manson and In This Moment before, and both are great performers and entertainers. This year, I am anticipating Avenged Sevenfold, Gojira, Avatar, and Mastodon stealing the show. Some of these names are not as well known as the others, but their music is phenomenal.

It’s also a great thing that they moved the festival to the Pavilion because last year, it rained heavily and the majority of the festival was cancelled. So in October, rain or shine, it’s party time.

Rock on.

-K

94.5 The Buzz Bud Light Weenie Roast 2017

Location: Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion in The Woodlands, TX.
Date: July 22, 2017

Houston’s very own 94.5 The Buzz hosted the 2017 Bud Light Weenie Roast last weekend. The lineup featured Chevelle, Blue October, 10 Years, Missio, and Dinosaur Pile-Up. Mother Nature tried to prevent Houstonians from enjoying the festival, but with no success. Concert goers filled the Waterway area as rain poured heavily in The Woodlands, just as the Weenie Roast was starting. 

I arrived to the venue about an hour or so into the lineup, having missed Dinosaur Pile-Up and the majority of Missio. However, I was warmly greeted by hundreds of gestures in the air as Missio concluded his set with the hit “Middle Fingers.” 

Thinking that this would be the perfect time to grab a drink before 10 Years, my group and I headed to the nearest bar at the venue serving beverages. But, due to the lightning in the area, the Pavilion prohibited food and beverage sales for nearly an hour.

“Life is beautiful if you can focus on the light.” – Jesse Hayek

10 Years: I was excited to see this band because “Wasteland” is one of those tracks that still sticks with me even after all these years. The first line, “Change my attempt, good intentions,” leads into that hard rock sound accompanied by lyrics that contain a haunting, yet relative message about “saving someone who can’t be saved” (Hayek). In addition, other tracks such as “Fix Me” and “Shoot it Out” energized the audience. Before concluding the set, frontman Jesse Hasek discussed how music can come from a very “dark” and “emotional place.” He continued by saying, “Some people give everything, like martyrs to the system… bleed out the soul.” He then requested audience members to raise their hands and applaud “people like Chris and Chester.” I think people still mourning these deaths were comforted by the realness and empathy Hayek was giving. He was certainly right when he reminded us, “Their legacies will never fucking die because music lives on forever.” That phrase alone deserves praise.

Blue October: I was honestly very surprised with this band. The frontman, Justin Furstenfeld, has an amazing voice and seems very genuine, according to his lyrics and how he presents himself on stage. He wore a black long sleeved shirt with the name “Chester” spray-painted in white, as a tribute to the late Chester Bennington. After playing their biggest hit “Hate Me,” he asked the entire Pavilion for a moment of silence, as many obliged. Aside from the tributes, Blue October was astounding in their performance. Furstenfeld’s voice, the guitar, the drums, the bass, the lyrics, the lighting… they all complemented each other so well that I became a new fan and would love to see them again. Hopefully I can hear the song “Calling You” next time. 🙂

Furstenfeld concluded Blue October’s set by leading the audience with the chorus from Linkin Park’s “Shadow of the Day.” There was a definite feeling of mourning from both the performers and audience. Yet, there was also comfort in knowing that none of us were alone in our feelings. 

“And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in gray
And the sun will set for you…“

In between sets, songs from Linkin Park, Chris Cornell, and even Nirvana filled the air, reminding us just how prominent depression mixed with drug addiction is. The tragedies we’ve experienced just this year with Cornell and Bennington are not the only ones. There are so many others we have lost and we must remember them, not only as artists, but as people who struggled and battled for years.

Chevelle: I was most excited to see this band, as they have been on my bucket list for 

“seeing red again”

several years. My memories of Chevelle go all the way back to when I was 10 years old. I remember the single “The Red” playing for the first time and being like, “This is music.” The next day in art class, my teacher mentioned how the color red is associated with passionate feelings, such as love or anger. Then the song made sense to me and was stuck in my head the rest of the day.

Chevelle played nearly all of their singles, excluding “Panic Prone,” “Closure,” and “Well Enough Alone.” But, the band gave its audience exactly what they came for: a badass rock show. The lighting was the most interesting to me. I’m always perplexed at how the colors and shapes can appear so perfectly to the rhythm of a song. This is probably why I take a lot of pictures of how light affects subjects (silhouettes, shadows, sunsets, etc.) In addition to this, Chevelle of course played a perfect show. The vibrations from the bass and drums made your heart beat out of your chest. Lead singer Pete Loeffler’s vocals mixed with his guitar gave goosebumps all over your body. Is this sounding a bit erotic? Well, that’s what the excitement of a rock show should do: make you

psychedelic

feel things, internally and externally. The band concluded their set, but came back with an encore set consisting of the tracks: “The Red,” “Comfortable Liar,” “Forfeit,” and “Send the Pain Below.”

This was my first experience at a festival associated with 94.5 The Buzz. I now know what I’ve been missing all these years and look forward to attending the next Buzzfest or Weenie Roast.

In the End, Everything Should Matter

“I tried so hard, and got so far…“

Depression wins, again.

As I was sitting by myself, eating lunch, my boyfriend texted me a link titled “Linkin Park Singer Chester Bennington Dead, Commits Suicide by Hanging.” All I could think was, “Are you kidding me?” mixed with a bit of speechlessness. It seems as though many people are still dealing with the similar death of Chris Cornell from just a few months ago, but now… this? And what’s even eerier is that today is also Cornell’s birthday. He would’ve been 53.

Please understand I am not trying to be insensitive. I apologize if that is how I come across.

I wouldn’t consider myself the biggest Linkin Park fan or anything, but I definitely respect their art and the genre of music they sparked in the early 2000’s. Their music was certainly a part of my childhood and early teen years. I comprehended the message of “Somewhere I Belong” because I too wanted somewhere I thought I could just be myself, be happy.

“I will never know myself until I do this on my own. And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed. I will never be anything ’til I break away from me. And I will break away, and find myself today.“

As someone who has struggled with depression for 15 years, I can say with certainty that I can empathize. Yes, I understand what it’s like to have repetitive dark thoughts that won’t go away. Yes, I have faced brooding suicidal tendencies. Yes, I have lost people close to me from depression and suicide. But… because of all of these experiences, I also know what is left behind when someone succumbs to darkness.

There is guilt, anger, confusion, sadness, and any other negative emotion you can think of that haunts for quite a long time. People, friends, and family are left to deal with those inner demons. I think why my initial reaction to Bennington’s death was more angry than anything is because, quite frankly, I am perplexed at the amount of successful, talented people with loving friends and family that just give it up. It’s not only musicians. Remember Robin Williams or Heath Ledger? But also consider these other artists: Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Amy Winehouse, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland, Chris Cornell… I know many of these people not only dealt with depression and/or anxiety, but in several instances fought severe drug addiction.

I think that we, as human beings, should practice a little more kindness and empathy towards everyone. Show that the world isn’t completely full of shit. If you see someone suffering from a loss, be there for them. If you or someone you know mentions suicide or dark thoughts, don’t brush it off! Talk with them all night if that’s what they need. Give them a hug. Make them dinner. Write a thoughtful letter. If I could go back to age 16 and talk to my (now deceased) friend, I would’ve encouraged him to hold on. And to kick each day’s ass. Carpe freaking diem.

Life is not worthless. Every thought, every action, has a purpose.

In the end, everything should matter.

-K

Concert Review: The New Regime

Date: April 15 and 16, 2016
Location: House of Blues, Dallas, TX

A few weeks ago, Travis and I ventured our way up I-45 North to see the The Used (a review for this concert will be posted soon). We had no clue who the opening band was, but we were not disappointed with their performance. The New Regime is a solo project by Ilan Rubin, who at only 27 years old, has drummed for prestigious bands such as Lostprophets, Nine Inch Nails, Angels & Airwaves, and Paramore. In this band, however, he plays guitar and is the lead singer. The setlist is as follows (forgive me if I left any out):

“Say What You Will”
This song opened up with a catchy enough guitar riff to bob your head to. Then the chorus hits you with powerful, high vocals. I’m not sure if it was the acoustics of the HOB, but it was somewhat difficult to hear what he was singing. However, with the right sound engineering, it would’ve been an even better audio experience. Rubin then greeted the audience and mentioned how the band was super appreciative of everyone there early enough to listen to them.

“No Traces”
This was a “heavier” song, according to Rubin. I could definitely identify the use of bass. There was more movement on stage during this track, like a slow dance during the smooth, 70’s guitar riff, then a power stance-esque waltz into the heavier, longer solo. Travis looked at me and nodded his head in approval.

“Don’t Chase It”
The “electronic” vibe was evident, as Rubin and the bass player were also playing synth pads. A dark, 80s vibe pieced with a 90’s guitar flow made this song one of the most interesting and favorites of the night.

“Live In Fear”

“Haunt My Mind”
Beginning with a subtle synthetic beat, similar to a heartbeat, and calm singing, this song also caught my attention. The chorus is opposite to the verses, busting in with those same powerful vocals.

“We Rise, We Fall”
A fast paced guitar intro that lead into very funkadelic rhythm had me engaged. I kept thinking that the vibe somewhat reminded me of a “Ballroom Blitz”. I was moving in my seat by tapping my feet, shaking my body side to side, nodding my head, and clapping.
This song had the most energy, as evident from the reactions within the audience in addition to the way the band was playing. All in all, it was an incredible track to end the set with.

Overall, the band has something for everybody. The influences of Rubin (Led Zeppelin, Depeche Mode, Muse, NIN, etc.) are faint, yet apparent within the music. The band is able to bounce off of those 80’s and 90’s vibes and sounds, make them into their own, and give the modern era something worth listening to. You can check out The New Regime here! Happy listening!